We are all so unimaginably tiny when you think about the size of the universe. Each of us lives in one place, within one country, within one continent, within one planet, within one solar system, within one galaxy, within one universe. And who knows how many more universes exist beyond our current scope of knowledge.
It's just a fact that our lifespan is nothing more than a blip on the radar in the grand scheme of things. This humbling realization leaves us with two choices. One is to say forget about learning, improving, and growing, I'll take whatever mediocrity life throws at me because it's all meaningless and finite anyway. The second is to find immense inspiration and gratitude in the fact that we have no clue how things started, for how long we'll be here, or why we were put on our earth in the first place, and to suck every last thing we can out of each experience with the goal of becoming the best version of ourselves. So since 29 years is basically nothing at all, it's pretty amazing how much you can absorb in such an insignificant amount of time.
Here are the 7 best life lessons we've been fortunate enough to learn so far:
You get what you work for
Unless you have a trust fund, everything you achieve (or don't) in the post-graduate world is earned. It's true that timing is important, and that there are certain variables that play a role in what happens to us financially or otherwise, but no one is going to make something of our existence if we don't do it ourselves. This is why it's so beneficial to eliminate any expectations you have of people. Each person has their own ship to steer. With the time we're given on earth, it's our personal responsibility to find, go after, and protect the things that make us happy.
Good things happen to those who wait
We all remember our parents telling us to finish our homework before playing, wait our turn in line, and save dessert for after dinner. It turns out that patience isn't just for kids. It's this same sense of delayed gratification we learned back then that unlocks tremendous opportunity later in life. There are very few people in the world who see success quickly. For example, going the "fast cash" route sounds appealing, but it typically leads to an eventual crash and burn. If you can remain patient while working as hard as you can, challenging yourself, and pushing beyond what makes you feel comfortable, good things will happen.
Cracks in the armor will make or break you quickly
This one can be tough to stomach. Any insecurities, prior traumas, or negative tendencies will rear their ugly head just as you're trying to figure things out. Let's say you have a tendency to always keep your opinion to yourself because you fear what other people will think of you. Whether you realize it or not, this seemingly mild insecurity will likely manifest itself in almost every professional and personal situation or crossroad that you encounter. You'll risk choosing the wrong life partner, settling for a career that's not a fit, and never truly going after what it is that you want in life. But if you choose to address that insecurity, you won't risk making any of these mistakes, and the outcomes of your life will look very different. If you know about your flaws, understand where they came from, and give them the attention they need, they can't hurt you.
The best laid plans often go awry
If you went to high school, there's a high probability that you read (or spark-noted) "Of Mice and Men" by John Steinbeck. There's a quote in that book that says "the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry," which essentially means that plans are irrelevant and timing is never perfect for anything. So it doesn't do much good to adhere to strict timelines because they'll likely fall apart anyway. This is why you shouldn't wait for a "perfect time" to do something. It'll never happen. The better approach is to educate yourself, take calculated risks, make the best decisions you can, and learn from mistakes along the way.
You become who you spend your time with
Birds of a feather really do flock together, particularly as you head out into the real world. If you surround yourself with lots of people who have fixed mindsets, you might feel strange pursuing growth-oriented activities. That's not to say that you should spend your time only with people who share your exact beliefs, interests, and values. Diversity, in all ways, is a crucial prerequisite for a fulfilling, impactful, and broad-minded existence. But if those closest to you are detracting from your ability to be your authentic self, then it might be time to reassess your inner circle. Although relationships take work, they should be reciprocal. Your connections with friends, colleagues, and family should give you energy, not deplete you of it.
Saving trumps earning (but invest your money as soon you reasonably can)
It's hard to make money, but it's even harder to keep it. The heavy pull of consumerism, branding, and social media isn't quite budget-friendly. If you're interested in any level of financial freedom, or even just having enough leftover for retirement, then you'll need to find ways to keep your money around so that it can eventually work for you. The sooner you can save a sufficient amount of your income, the sooner you will be able to pursue investment opportunities and start reaping the benefits of compound interest. Earning without saving is basically as good as not earning at all. Think about it. If you make $100K and spend $100K, or worse, get yourself into debt, it's equivalent to making nothing. You don't need the nicest car or the most expensive luxury items right away. You might want them, but you don't need them. It's prudent to recognize this difference early on.
Peaks and valleys make the world go round
Anyone is capable of being a good person when things are going well, but challenging circumstances are what reveal true character. Some people will run into valleys and stay there, or worse, continue to free fall to the point of no return. Others will hit valleys, learn from their mistakes, and ultimately reach a higher peak. Highs and lows are completely inevitable and staying perfectly even-keeled is impossible. Don't be surprised when you experience things at the extremes, give yourself time to feel the emotions, and keep on moving.
Originally published at https://www.kimandroy.com on December 6, 2020.
